My Decision about a Mission

As many of you know, I have had a strong desire to serve a mission my entire life. As I got older, this desire only grew immensely. 

I have felt like the Lord has done so much for me, that the least I can for for Him is serve an 18-month mission to help bring others unto the Gospel. 

I have seen the blessings of the Gospel in my life, and I know of its truthfulness. I want nothing more than to share this Gospel with others. 

When the announcement was made last October to lower the age in which girls can serve missions, I truly felt it was an answer to my prayers. I had wanted so badly to serve a mission, but I didn't want to wait until I was 21. I wanted it ASAP. Then, I got what I wanted.

I did the math and started a countdown on my phone as to the day my papers could be submitted. The date was April 22. 

As the day approached, I felt more and more uneasy about the mission. I wanted to go, but in praying about it, the Lord was telling me that it wasn't the path I should go. I finally got my answer in March that I should not go. 

I don't find it a coincidence that my broken ribs acted up around this time, and would have made it very difficult to get medically cleared to serve a mission, as well as I am not able to get my wisdom teeth out because of the way my body reacts to surgeries. The risks definitely outweigh the benefits.

I didn't understand the reasoning behind me not going, but I knew there was something that would be happening in those 18 months that I needed to be here for. 

I decided to not turn in my papers, and the decision was not an easy one. It is hard to watch my friends open their calls, and I always want one, but the Lord constantly reassures me that it is not my time to go. Maybe in the future, but not right now.

As hard as this was, I have come to the realization that I don't need to serve a mission to be a missionary. I can be a missionary every day! I can live what I believe and be an example to others. I already have had missionary experiences, and have had many things happen in my life that wouldn't have happened if I had gone on a mission. 

I know without a doubt that the Lord has a plan for me, and all I need to do is trust in him. He will guide me. All I need is faith and to be obedient.

Like my Aunt Connie once told me, "We don't always know why, but we can always know what to do."