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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Backwards

Tuesday, June 24, 2014
About two months ago, I went on a date with some of my best friends. 

We decided to make a music video for part of our date.

After debating for about a half hour over which song to do, we decided to do Backwards. 

Well, Brian left on his mission a week and a half after our date, and I never got to see the music video. 

I thought all of our hard work was gone. 

HOWEVER,
last week, Will left on his mission, and the night before he got set
apart, we got to go hike Bridal Veil Falls and go for rides in his
shnazzy car!

Aaaaaaand I asked him about the music videos. 

HE HAD THEM. 

He made one, and Brian made one!

I about peed my pants watching them. I love them! Such a great night!!

Enjoy, people! I sure did!



 

Monday, June 23, 2014

Mission Papers...DONE. New Job...DONE.

Monday, June 23, 2014
This post is far overdue, but I finally feel like I can write it all out without crying.

Haha!

Nowwwwww, rewind all the way back to January. {Yikes, that's a long time!}

I  had an interview for a job at BYU Sports Camps to be a counselor for the summer. I cannot even begin to express how badly I wanted that job going into the interview. I had decided last summer that this was the job I wanted for this upcoming summer. I was interviewed by Rachel and Derek. I remember sitting in the interview thinking they were the coolest two people I had ever met, and I would give anything to work with them. In that moment, I decided that I wanted to work with them. They were so nice and funny, and I loved being in the same room as the two of them! {Remember this because it is going to become vital to the story later on!}

As I left the interview, they took my photo and said I would be finding out in March if I had received the job or not.

However, a few weeks later, it was the beginning of February, and I was really struggling. For the first time in years, I was struggling to be happy. I simply was not happy anymore. To be honest, I became severely depressed. I stopped talking to people, and people stopped talking to me. I didn't know anyone, and I was just going through the motions every day. There were literally days that I would talk to three people, and that included texting my Mom. 

It was so bad, and nothing I did was helping. 

I had priesthood blessing after priesthood blessing, and still, I struggled so much. I felt so alone. I just ached for someone to talk to me---to ask me how I was doing or even to ask me to go do something.

I had gone to spend the weekend with my Aunt in Bluffdale, Utah, when she asked if I would like to attend Music and the Spoken Word. I had never gone before, so I was really excited to go {especially because one of my best friend's is Lloyd Newell's son!}

As we were driving there, I was telling my aunt about this cute girl that my family knows who was serving a mission on Temple Square right then. Her name is Sarah.

We arrived, watched the performance {or whatever you call it}, and when it ended, Lloyd Newell then says, "We would like to say a special thank you to a group of women we have here with us today." He goes on to inform us these women are actually a group of Sister Missionaries that were going home that Wednesday. He listed off all the places the girls were from, and on the list was the home state of our friend, Sarah! Sure enough, she stood up! Sarah was there, and she was going home that week!

Sarah has no idea how awesome that was for me to get to see her.

For those of you who know me or read my blog, you know that I have the strongest desire to serve a mission. I would love to drop everything right now and leave on a mission. In fact, I even was planning on leaving on my mission a year ago, but I didn't {You can read about that here!}

When Sarah stood up, and I got to see how happy she was, along with the other sister missionaries, I was reminded of how badly I want to serve a mission. I got to talk with her briefly before we left, but it got me thinking all over again about a mission. 

I started analyzing my life and where I was at. I looked at everything I had learned in the past nine or so months that I wouldn't have learned if I had been on a mission. I learned SO MUCH and grew IMMENSELY. Looking back made me realize the reasoning behind me not going on a mission. It made complete sense to me. I truly was not meant to go at the time I thought I was.

 I started feeling comfortable again about submitting my papers. I decided I would ponder and pray about it once again. 

Logically, it made complete sense to go on a mission at that time. I was the most single I had been in years (and by this, I mean I wasn't dating anyone or even going on dates. I literally had no prospects in my life.) The semester was ending soon, and Karen and Kathy were leaving on missions, too. There was nothing holding me to Provo, and I was craving for something in my life to change. It seemed like it was the perfect timing!  I felt like I had learned what I needed to learn, and it was finally my time to go.

I prayed about it and got the confirmation that I could start my papers. 

The debate wasn't whether I was going or not, it was when I was putting my availability date. I kept going back and forth about when to put my availability date. I kept thinking about the job that I so desperately wanted for the summer. Do I stay and work the summer and miss another semester of college, or do I not take the job and leave in May to make it back right before a semester of college started?

It was such a struggle. I would change my mind about 20 times a day. 

Then, in the middle of February, I had a prompting to get online and look at the jobs listed for BYU. There was a job posted online just a few minutes earlier for a Sports Camps Planner. I read the description, and it was perfect. I would work with the coaches of various sports to plan the camps, and then make sure everything goes through for the camps. It was a year round job, too! I wanted that job soooo bad!

Buuuuuuut, I was going on a mission. It wouldn't be fair to apply for this job knowing I would be leaving on a mission shortly thereafter. They wouldn't give me the job. Buuuuuuuuuuuut, if I didn't try, I would never get a job with Sports Camps. I called my Mom, and she told me to apply for the job just for the heck of it. If I got it, great, if I didn't, then my plans wouldn't change. So, I applied for the job. 

I literally ran every scenario through my head all day long as to what I was going to do. Should I even interview for the job? Should I just be a counselor? Should I leave on my mission right away?

It reached the point that it was eating me away inside. I didn't know what to do, and I was losing sleep over it. Any time I would think about it, my mind would hit overload, and I would freak out inside. I just wanted to know which one was the right path for me. I was getting really impatient.

I went to the temple and finally received some peace. It was all going to work out the way it is meant to.

I was going to go home and get all my mission paper work done in a few weeks, then submit them, unless something between now and then stopped me. I had a little emergency back home, and I ended up leaving for Idaho sooner than I had planned, so I was just going to get everything finished right away.

Just as I was packing to go home to Idaho, I got a call from Brendon regarding the Planner job. He wondered if I could come in for a group interview the following week. I wanted to so bad, but I would be in Idaho! I had been waiting so long for this phone call, and it came just when I couldn't have it. I explained what was going on, and he agreed that I could come in for an interview when I got home from Idaho. I just needed to let him know what the plan was.

I figured once again, it would all work out the way it was suppose to.

So, I headed to Idaho. While I was there, I got my medical and dental clearance and finished up my papers.

I kept my mission a big secret in case I didn't go, too. No one knew about this except my parents and some of my siblings. 

A few days later, I headed back to Provo with my papers ready to submit as soon as I decided on my availability date.

I also emailed and called Brendon back, but never heard back from him. I gave it about two weeks to hear from him, and still nothing. 

I was sure they had filled the position at this point. I started to give up hope on the job, and I really focused on my mission. I was getting really excited to go, too! It was starting to sink in.

Then, I got the call I had been waiting for.

Brendon called me in for an interview.

YES.

I had the interview, and we talked for a little while. They informed me that they had a few positions they were considering me for, but they would be letting me know in the next few days. 

Once again, I didn't hear anything from them. I gave up on the job and decided it was time to put my papers in. I went to the temple to confirm this was what I was suppose to do, and I was told to just be patient. I would be getting my answer soon enough.

I finished up at the temple, and the moment I walked out the doors, my phone rang. 

It was Brendon offering me a job. 

I GOT THE JOB. My dream BYU job. 

I wasn't a planner, though. I was actually the Office Manager! {After working the job, I see that my position now is actually the perfect one for me.}

I started the following week, and I have been working there ever since, and guess what?? I WORK WITH RACHEL AND DEREK, and other kids that are just as awesome as they are. I get to see them all every day, and I don't get sick of it! I actually love them more and more as time goes on.

As far as my mission is concerned, my papers are finished. They are just waiting to be submitted. I really want to go still, but I have once again been told that right now is not the best time for me. I need to be in Provo. 

Not only that, but I needed this job. I cannot begin to express my gratitude for this job. My coworkers are the most amazing people, and I love each of them so much. 

I don't think my coworkers will ever know how much they have done for me or that they literally saved me.

They will never know how much of a blessing and answer to my prayers it was to walk in here on the first day and have everyone be so welcoming to me.

I know I am where I am suppose to be, and I love every minute of it. Literally, every minute of it.

I am so so happy with my life right now.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Moving Day: 31536000 Seconds Later

Tuesday, June 3, 2014
ONE YEAR.

365 DAYS.

8760 HOURS.

525600 MINUTES.

31536000 SECONDS

I have spent my entire life growing up in Blackfoot, Idaho. I mean, up until a year ago, I had moved once, and it was around the corner.

However, one year ago today, I moved for a second time. 

And this time, it wasn't around the corner. It was to a different state. 

I had just graduated from high school, and it was time to move away. 

I had nothing holding me to Blackfoot, and I had every reason to leave there.

I had been offered the job of a lifetime, and I love adventures, so I was more than excited to leave.

Before this, I had spent a few weeks away from my home, and never had I experienced homesickness.

Most kids are nervous about leaving home because they get homesick, but I am not one of those kids. 

 I had a different worry.

I was worried about saying goodbye.

I hate goodbyes.

No, let me rephrase this. 

I loathe goodbyes.

Thankfully, I had managed to escape most goodbyes in Blackfoot because I didn't find out I was moving until two weeks before I actually moved. 

That is how I like it, though! Just get up and get outta there! Avoid as many goodbyes as possible. It's like avoiding the pain. (All of you who have read The Little Prince, that is how I feel!)

I get so attached to everyone that I meet. It's really crazy.

There was no avoiding the hardest goodbyes: my family.

I am soooooo close with my little sisters. It doesn't matter that there are 12 years between my baby sister and I, we are still extremely close.

I dreaded this goodbye. As badly as I wanted to go to Provo, I didn't want to leave them.

**************************************************************

I woke up early the morning that I left to finish packing the car with my things. 

I remember watching my house as long as I possibly could as we drove away. I had no idea when I would be back home next. 

We stopped in Provo at Carl's Jr. for a quick lunch, then to look at apartments for the Fall, and eventually to Aspen Grove.

We arrived at Aspen Grove, and it wasn't anything like I expected, yet it was so perfect for me. We drove up to my little A-frame cabin and moved all my stuff in.

Then, we sat on a little porch for a bit just looking around and trying to take everything in. 

Then, my dad finally said what I had been dreading all day. 

It was time for them to go.

As soon as Brookie heard that, she ran over, hugged my legs real tight, and ran to the car with her face down so that I couldn't see it. She jumped in the car and shut the door as fast as she could.

I hugged Hannah and Sarah goodbye, then my parents. Everyone, except for Sarah, was crying.

I walked back to the car to say a real goodbye to Brooke. I didn't want that to be how we said goodbye.

I opened the door, and she was in her car seat hugging her knees as she bawled.

Still to this day, the sight of that breaks my heart. I hate watching other people cry, especially my family.

After one more round of goodbyes, they were gone, and I was all alone. 

{I would be lying if I said I didn't cry. I cried a little bit}

Aspen Grove was deserted. {I later learned that everyone had the day off, so all the workers were gone}

I spent the rest of the night walking all around AG, familiarizing myself, as well as moving in completely, reading, and then just laying in my bed. 

Little did I know that the next day would mark the very beginning of one of the best things that every happened to me.

I constantly wish I could turn back time and re-live last summer. I seriously loved every minute of it. 

Not only that, but this entire last year, I have learned so much! and grown IMMENSELY. I am not the same person I was a year ago when I moved away. 

In fact, I have a really hard time imagining my life before a year ago. 

Provo is where I belong for now.

In some ways, this past year has felt like 10 years, yet it felt like only 10 days. 

It went by so fast, yet so slow.

SO MUCH HAPPENED!

Seriously, I am so lucky.

Forever, my moving day.

Forever, the mark of my new chapter.

Happy June 3rd, everyone!
Alice Jane + BLOG DESIGN BY Labinastudio