The Bittersweet Ending

I did it. I finished my first semester of college!

It was so much harder than I thought it would be, but also very different than I ever imagined. There are lots of things that I have learned, too!

{HOMEWORK}

I was told to expect staying up super late every night to do homework, and I even had a few people tell me to expect some nights with no sleep. At the beginning of school, I made a priority list, and I made a goal that no matter what my homework load was like, at midnight, it was bed time. I would much rather get up early in the morning than stay up extra late.

I also made the goal to not do homework on Sundays. Sundays were the day of the Lord, and I wanted to find a way to make myself treat Sundays different than any other day of the week. I knew that I would be blessed. 

Also, I made the decision to ALWAYS choose the Lord over school. That meant two things. First, before I did any homework at all, I would read my scriptures for thirty minutes. Secondly, I would go to the temple at least once a week. 

I WAS SO BLESSED. I could say this a thousand times and it would NEVER get old, nor would I ever say it as much as I needed to. Throughout this semester, there was only one night that I stayed up past midnight doing homework, and it was spent writing an essay that I really enjoyed writing and WANTED to work on it as long as I could. {I ended up getting a 99% on that darn essay, too. It took a total of 13 hours to write! Also one of the reasons that I changed my major} I also never had to wake up earlier than 7 each morning to do homework. In fact, my alarm was set to go off at 7:45 each morning! I averaged 7-8 hours of sleep each night. How many college students can say that? Then, I NEVER did homework on a Sunday! Not even studied for a test, and I always found ample time to study. It was awesome! However, I was not always very good at reading my scriptures first. I only did it about 70% of the time, and I know that the days I chose to keep my priorities straight, I got my homework done quicker and more efficiently.  Also, I did make it to the temple every week, with the exception of three weeks, which I was not in Provo for those. Originally, I had the intention just to go once a week, each Saturday morning. I started out getting up at 5 am, getting to the temple at 5:30, then be out and back in bed by 6:30. I started pondering why I go to the temple, and what I wanted out of it. I decided that I was no longer going to get up super early and try to hurry in and out of the temple. I wanted to spend time there! So, I intentionally planned temple trips during the busiest times of the week! Saturday mornings at 9! I would go at 9, and not get out until about 1! This was so good for me to force myself to take time each week to ponder my life and everything, with no distractions, no worries about time, homework, or how much I hated Chemistry. As the semester progressed, there were times throughout the week that my load just seemed to be unbearable. I would have a frustrating day at school, or feel like I didn't have enough time in my day to accomplish everything. I would walk in my apartment with dishes to be done, floors to be swept, or laundry that needed to be done. I would just want to pack up my stuff and leave. I quickly learned that when these moments came into my life, the best thing I could possibly do would be to drop everything and go to the temple. Literally, during finals week, I chose to go to the temple three times instead of study. Who does that?!? I DO! I was blessed beyond measure. I walked into my finals more prepared than I would have if I actually studied. I did so well on every final, and I probably only spent a few hours studying for a few of my classes, and the rest, I only spent about an hour. Now, for next semester, I know what to do to fully utilize the opportunities in my life that are present to simply bless me. 

{DON'T GIVE UP}

In high school, I have never had a class that I didn't understand. Everything seemed to come so easily for me. The biggest challenge, educationally, that I had in high school came from We The People when I had to memorize countless things and read into the wee hours of the morning preparing for our competitions and practice panels. In math classes, there may be a day here and there that there is a concept I struggle with grasping, but I would just go back through the text book and reteach myself the concept, and I understood it. I always understood eventually, so being in a class where I don't understand what is going on is something I had never experienced before. I was signed up for a Chemistry class, and of course, I have heard horror stories about Chemistry, but I was like, "No way. I've got this." We had assignments every day that would take about an hour to do, and I was flying through everything. Before I knew it, my first test was upon me, and I knew everything on it. I went into the test feeling uneasy about how confident I was. However, when I received my test back, it only confirmed that I really did know the stuff on my test. Thank heavens! But then, the material we started learning for the second test was so difficult. I would spend hours reading, re-reading, and re-re-reading the material only to have absolutely no clue what was going on. My life quickly became consumed with the worry and stress of Chemistry. I would go to class, guess myself through all the questions, and then only get more and more behind each time. The second test came, and I felt so unprepared. I was devastated. I felt like a failure. I studied so hard for the test, and went into the testing center truly feeling like I was going to fail this test. The problem was that the test for Chemistry was all written. No multiple choice to guess on, which meant you either knew the material, or you didn't. I literally guessed on everything, and somehow, I got a 70% on the test. I still don't know how I did it. Then, the decision came. During the time we were spending learning the material for the 2nd test, I changed my major, which meant, I no longer needed the Chemistry credits to apply for my major. I was made aware of the fact that.the following week was the withdrawal deadline. I wanted so badly to withdraw from Chemistry and save myself from all the stress that Chemistry was causing. I was coming to Idaho for the weekend, and decided to talk to my parents about it. My Mom was telling me that it was my decision, but my dad was pushing me to stick with the class. I only had five weeks left of the class, I should just endure to the end. Well, folks, I did. I hated the heck out of that class, but I did it. I finished. I had a third exam that was even harder than the second test! Then, a final that took me two hours, and I finished the class with a high B. Holy crap. How did that even happen? I didn't give up. I kept going, and I am thankful that I did. 

{IT'S OKAY TO CHANGE YOUR MIND}

My entire life I have wanted to be a Nurse, and more specifically,  a nurse that worked in Labor and Delivery. Literally, my entire life. I have never even considered another job. So, when I started college, I also started the pre-requisite's for the nursing program. I had no idea how competitive and hard the nursing program at BYU would be. Literally, it was impossible to get into! About halfway through the semester, I started realizing just how much I hated the pre-requisite's for the program, which eventually turned into me wondering whether or not I would enjoy the program. I then debated whether to suck it up and hate the next four years of college, or change my major and do a nursing program somewhere else. I chose to change my major. When I made the final decision and saw the change on my transcript, it was such a bittersweet moment. I was so thrilled to be in my new major, but so sad to know that I would no longer becoming a nurse at BYU. But, despite the sadness, I was THRILLED!!! I am now in the Communications program with an emphasis in Journalism. This means I get to be a writer! I LOVE WRITING. This also means I could be a news anchor. Do you even know how fun that would be?? Ahhh! It is OKAY TO CHANGE YOUR MIND!

{GET THROUGH IT}

The class that drove me the craziest this semester was my Book of Mormon class. Holy Hannahs, I think that class bothered me more than my Chemistry class did, and that is saying a lot. I loved seminary, and maybe I am just struggling with the fact that I no longer have Brother Abercrombie anymore, but I think it's more of the fact that my teacher just wanted to be hard. Seriously. At first, I thought, "Oh, this class won't be that bad! It should be so much fun to learn about the gospel!" It did't take long for me to learn this class would quickly become my second most stressful class {next to chemistry, and I had a 14.5 credit schedule with three 3 credit classes.} That is not right. My teacher wrote a textbook, which was the same size as my chemistry text book, and I had daily assignments from that book. The daily assignments weren't too bad, other than we had questions to answer from every two-three verses of scripture, and to me, the majority of the questions seemed rather irrelevant to my testimony. I had a quiz in the testing center about each week that were on 120-150 questions we had to memorize for the quiz. On top of the quizzes, we had exams that were 85 questions and SUPER HARD. The majority of the questions were like, "What does 1 Nephi 10:1 say?" or "Mark all correct answers". It got to the point where I would just go to the testing center with the mentality of ,"Well, you are suppose to BOMB BOM tests, right?" Pretty much IMPOSSIBLE. In my opinion, BOM classes should be about fostering spiritual growth and encouraging each of us to dive into the scriptures and see what the spirit has to tell us for that time in our lives. The classes with this teacher seemed to drive away the spirit because everything was made into a joke, or my teacher would argue with a boy in my class that was a Ute fan. I dreaded going to the class. I even had to write four essays for the class, and keep a very detailed log of my reading times and chapters. Thankfully, I made it through the semester with an A {such a miracle}. Thankfully, I learned that there are going to be classes that I do not enjoy AT ALL, nor will I agree with the teacher's teaching style, but I just need to get through it. 

{PEOPLE WILL COME AND GO}

People come and go. I need to accept it. I think my fatal flaw is that I seem to care about people too much. I invest too much, and I worry too much. I met some incredible people in my classes this semester. In fact, I walked away with some of my best friends as people that I met in my classes. I had study groups, friend groups, and even dates that came from these people! There were a few of my classes that I dreaded, but because of the people in my classes, I always looked forward to spending time with them! Now, in high school, when classes ended and I had friends in the class, it was like, "Yeah, we will see each other in the halls!" College is way different. When I was in my classes on the last day, it was like, "Oh, well, have a good life." It was so weird to watch these people walk away, knowing we were all walking in separate directions, both literally and with our lives. There really is a chance I will never see them again. I hate goodbyes so much. I don't even have words to describe how much I hate it. So far, this is the hardest part about this semester being over. Saying goodbye. 

{CHEMISTRY ISN'T ALL STRESSFUL}

{I'LL ADMIT THAT I WAS WRONG}

All growing up, I wanted nothing more than to go to Brigham Young University in Provo. That all changed my sophomore year of high school. I wanted to go anywhere outside of Idaho that was not BYU. My reasoning behind this was that I had just gone to school with kids that were majority LDS, and it was a horrendous experience. I felt as though the majority of the kids I went to school with didn't have a strong testimony at all. There were two kinds of people---the LDS kids that lived life as if they weren't members, and the LDS kids that were my relatives. I know that not everyone fits into these two categories, but enough did that I wanted to go to a school that the gospel wasn't just there for you without working to have the spirit with you. I wanted somewhere that I would find a husband that had fought for his testimony. I also wanted to go somewhere that I could have missionary experiences. BYU did not fit those categories, or at least I thought they didn't. When it came time to apply for colleges, my parents didn't allow me to apply to any college other than BYU and BYU-I. I wasn't very excited about it, but I ultimately chose Provo because I ruled out BYU-I before I even knew I got in. There was no way I was going to school with kids I had grown up with. BYU-I was just a little too close to home. This summer at Aspen Grove {the kids from there are still my Aspen Grove family. When I see any of the AG kids on campus, I get so happy! I feel so at home!} really reassured me that if BYU was anything like the AG people, I would be totally fine and love it! I have never been around such an accepting group that just loved me for me! No competition, no jealousy, just a big family. BYU proved to be just that. Granted, there are a few people that I have met that struggle with jealousy, competition, and people that just aren't very nice, but for the majority of the kids, I was wrong. I really love the atmosphere of BYU! I really feel like it is where I belong. I am so glad I chose BYU over BYU-I. :)

{ANYWAYS}

All in all, this semester was a good learning experience. I truly learned a lot! Not all about school stuff, but I learned a ton about life as well. I will treasure the experiences that I had, as well as the friendships I made. I hope the friendships will continue forever. Now that it is over, it is rather bittersweet. However, I think this next semester will blow it out of the water! I cannot wait! I have my best friends moving so close to me, I have all new classes, new adventures, and I GET TO MEET MORE PEOPLE AND MAKE MORE FRIENDS! Please, let this semester be far better than the great one I just had.

College, surprisingly, I like you.