One of my favorite parts of athletic events is definitely the kiss cam. Hands down.
The best kiss cams are when one person rejects the other or is super reluctant about kissing the other. It is especially funny when the crowd cheers the couple on, or even boos the ones that don't play along with the seemingly innocent entertainment game. The different reactions are so entertaining. I love when I see people I know on the kiss cam! I have always assumed that everyone on the kiss cam is either dating or on a date.
It never occurred to me that there is way more to it for some "lucky" couples on the kiss cam than what it appears. It isn't really just a game. THESE ARE KISSES PEOPLE ARE GIVING AWAY! At some universities, this may not be a big deal. But, we are at BYU, where people tend to be a little more conservative and not so willing to kiss someone they aren't dating---maybe even someone they don't even know. To some people, it isn't a big deal, but for me, it is.
I have always played scenarios in my head of what I would do if I were to ever get on the kiss cam. I have had such an internal battle over it, but I have always told myself that the odds are in my favor. I would never get on, so I don't need to worry about it.
Every time the kiss cam comes on, though, I do look around me and sort of assess the situation, just in case.
I mean, what if it was a stranger? What if it really was the guy I liked? What if someone just kissed me without me even having a moment to think about it? Would it make things awkward?
Seriously, though. These are pretty valid concerns that I have.
For some people, this wouldn't be a problem.
For me, this is a huge problem.
This is why: kisses mean something to me. They aren't meant to just be handed out randomly.
I decided at a very young age that I didn't want to become one of those girls that just kissed anyone at any time. Some of my friends in high school were like that. In fact, one girl was on kiss #50 when we graduated. Her kisses were meaningless. She handed them out as if they were chocolate kisses.
There was no way I wanted that.
I wanted my kisses to be a way that a boy can know how I feel about him. My kisses were a way for me to show my affection. I wanted them to mean the world.
To be honest, I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18, and I had plenty of chances before then to kiss someone. I just lived by the standard I had set for myself.
In a talk given by Elder Bednar, he says,
"Remember, before you are married, you will be more respected and more attractive for the affection you withhold than for the affection you give.
Save Your Kisses
While I am aware of no counsel on whether kissing should be reserved only for post-mission dating or courtship, I am aware of plenty of counsel concerning honesty in our actions and treating others with respect and kindness. Casual attitudes about expressions of affection such as kissing can cause much grief and heartache.
President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985) taught: “Kissing has … degenerated to develop and express lust instead of affection, honor, and admiration. To kiss in casual dating is asking for trouble. What do kisses mean when given out like pretzels and robbed of sacredness?” 3
Notice the words President Kimball used to describe a kiss: affection, honor, admiration, sacredness. Kissing and other expressions of affection communicate powerful messages of commitment that others may believe and act on. If you don’t have a commitment, your actions are dishonest and likely harmful."
Would a kiss cam appearance make me go against the decision I had made years ago?
At the first home football game this year for BYU, I got to sit on the front row with some of my friends. The kiss cam came on, and my friend looked at me and said that we needed to get on there, and when we did, I needed to kiss him. Haha! He is one of my best friends. He really is such a great guy (and a very attractive guy, too), but I still prayed that I wouldn't get on the kiss cam. It had nothing to do with him, it had everything to do with my moral dilemma. He wrapped one of his arms around my neck and screamed that I was his girlfriend while his other arm was raised straight up in the air waving back and forth.
I held my breath while my heart beat really fast. In about 60 seconds, it was over. I could breath a little easier now.
He told me that it was his goal this season to get on the kiss cam with me. I kinda talked myself into it, and I came to the conclusion that if it were to happen, I would let it happen---probably because I wouldn't really have a choice with him! It would happen before I even knew what was going on. Hahahaha...
This last week, BYU had another home game. I was determined to get on the front row again. We ended up spending the night on Thursday to ensure our front row spot. Long story short [don't worry, long story will be in a blog post soon], we did get on the front row! Me, Karen, Kathy, Em, Joe, and Rob.
My luck this game seemed to be going insane. I had won so many things! It was getting kind of insane as to how lucky I was. I was in the position that thousands of other kids were trying to get into. It was nearly surreal.
However, when I walked into the stadium on Friday, I had an undeniable feeling that I was going to be on the kiss cam. I tried to shrug it off, but I knew inside that it was going to happen that day.
Karen and Kathy and I even talked about it and planned out what we would do. If one of us got on, the other two of us would kiss her on the cheek. We planned everything out to a point.
The game started, and I anxiously waited for the kiss cam to come on. It was well past half time now, and the kiss cam still hadn't happened yet.
Then, it did! The first couple was so funny. The guy tried to hide behind the guy in front of him, and the poor girl was super reluctant. Then, after what seemed like 10 seconds, they finally kissed, and the whole crowd erupted.
The system was the same for each couple---they kiss, and the crowd erupts. Even I erupted. It was the funniest thing!
I was laughing and cheering as I watched each of the couples, when all of a sudden, a couple came on that the screen that I recognized. She had dark hair, tan skin, and a big white smile. She had a scarf on that was royal blue, white, and black, along with a sweater that looked so familiar to me. The gloves are what got me. She had the same golden yellow gloves on that I did.
It hit me. I was looking at myself on the screen. I was on the kiss cam.
The moment I realized it, my heart sank. It completely dropped. I wanted to cry.
My jaw dropped, and my hands covered my mouth in shock. I literally had no idea what I was going to do. The entire world around me stopped. I couldn't hear the cheers. I couldn't see the field. All I could see was me on the screen with the look of utter shock thinking, "This cannot be happening right now. This really cannot be happening."
I felt like I stared at myself for what seemed like 10 minutes. I honestly have no idea what happened, or what anyone was saying to me. Someone told me after that he had kissed my cheek, and then I remembered that I thought I had felt it.
I think I went into shock. Haha!
Finally, the screen shifted to a different couple. I started tuning back into what was going on around me, and I realized the entire stadium was booing me.
They booed me because I wouldn't kiss the guy standing next to me. They booed me because I wouldn't go against the morals I had set for myself so long ago. They had no idea why I wouldn't kiss him.
To say that I was horrified is such an understatement. I couldn't believe that had happened.
Even Karen and Kathy were in shock. Then, Karen started screaming, "Why didn't I jump on that? We even had that all planned out!"
My entire perspective of the kiss cam completely shifted in that moment. I hated the kiss cam. I instantly started wondering how many of the couples shown on screen were actually couples. I wondered how many of them felt pressured into kissing someone that they didn't know or even want to kiss? How many had the same moral dilemma that I had? How many people had I booed and horrified without realizing it?
The kiss cam, for some, wasn't a funny game. It was a nightmare.
I had my phone off, but as soon as the game was over, I turned it on. Sure enough, I had received about 15 texts from people regarding me "rejecting the guy next to me in front of tens of thousands of people".
To most, they won't think twice about what happened, but to me, that is probably one of the scariest moments of my life. I really did not want to kiss anyone in front of the entire stadium. I would be going against everything I had decided against nearly 10 years ago, not to mention ruining any chances with guys in the stadium that I was interested in.
Even up until I fell asleep around 2:30, I received calls from people asking me why I hadn't kissed him, but rather rejected him. I even received a text that said, "So, can we go on a date tomorrow night, or are you going to reject me like you rejected that poor boy on screen?"
People will comment on my "appearance on the big screen" or my "15 seconds of fame" for the next while, I am sure. I mean, everyone and their dog were at the game. I felt like everyone I knew was there. People won't think twice about what they say about it, or just how horrified I was, which is okay because I have tough skin. I have learned that people usually don't think before they speak. They will have no idea what was going on inside my head at that moment, they will just see it as my way of "rejecting the poor guy next to me", who actually happens to be one of my good friends.
Here's the thing: It had nothing to do with him. It had everything to do with me. I wasn't rejecting him. I was choosing to uphold the standards I had set for myself so long ago. Like I said, people can and will have different perspectives on this standpoint, but for myself, these are boundaries I have set. I have learned throughout my life that I need to set my own set of standards AND live by them. If I let one slip, it becomes easier and easier to justify breaking other standards of mine.
Now, it would have been different if I had been dating the guy. I just refuse to kiss someone just to kiss them. I don't look down at or think people who choose to kiss on the kiss cam are sinning by any means. I mean, let's be honest. The kiss cam is really entertaining! It is just different when you are the one on it, and it puts you in the most awkward position of your entire life. For me, it wasn't right to kiss the guy standing next to me.
As silly as it sounds, this was really difficult for me, but I am glad that I chose not to kiss him in front of everyone just because I was on the kiss cam. I am thankful that I was able to uphold my standards, even if I did get booed by nearly 64,000 people. Thankfully, I am able to laugh about it now. It is definitely something that I will never forget.
