All my life, I've grown up reading the scriptures. I learned of all the stories of Nephi, Sam, Moroni, etc. I know the general stories of the scriptures pretty well, too. I also learned of a few women in the scriptures, but the men were the focus of the majority of the stories.
I never thought anything of it. I mean, men hold the priesthood, which benefits my life IMMENSELY. In my mind, men were the ones who ran the church. They have the authority and responsibility to do so. That is how God intended it to be. I never really dwelt on the fact that women weren't mentioned very often. It didn't bother me at all.
I was missing the whole picture.
Little did I know just how important my role as a woman, and eventually a mother in Zion, is. What caught me even more off guard is the fact that it has been in the scriptures the entire time! I had just missed it.
Crazy how in the few times women are mentioned in the scriptures, each time is absolutely vital to portraying just how important our job in mortality is. I mean, seriously. The verses are packed with the importance of mothers and women.
Flash back---It was the second week of school. I was doing my homework for Book of Mormon, which consisted of reading about six chapters in the scriptures, answering 30 questions, then reading about 7-10 pages out of a textbook full of quotes and stories regarding the chapters we read.
1 Nephi 5:2-8 was the first encounter I had that hit me like a wall. I literally felt like a light bulb had been turned on. My eyes were opened.
It says:
2 For she had supposed that we had perished in the wilderness; and she also had complained against my father, telling him that he was a visionary man; saying: Behold thou hast led us forth from the land of our inheritance, and my sons are no more, and we perish in the wilderness.
4 And it had come to pass that my father spake unto her, saying: I know that I am a visionary man; for if I had not seen the things of God in a vision I should not have known the goodness of God, but had tarried at Jerusalem, and had perished with my brethren.
5 But behold, I have obtained a land of promise, in the which things I do rejoice; yea, and I know that the Lord will deliver my sons out of the hands of Laban, and bring them down again unto us in the wilderness.
6 And after this manner of language did my father, Lehi, comfort my mother, Sariah, concerning us, while we journeyed in the wilderness up to the land of Jerusalem, to obtain the record of the Jews.
7 And when we had returned to the tent of my father, behold their joy was full, and my mother was comforted.
8 And she spake, saying: Now I know of a surety that the Lord hath commanded my husband to flee into the wilderness; yea, and I also know of a surety that the Lord hath protected my sons.
9 And it came to pass that they did rejoice exceedingly, and did offer sacrifice and burnt offerings unto the Lord; and they gave thanks unto the God of Israel.
Now, I had read those verses many, many times, but the importance behind these few verses didn't occur to me until I read an excerpt from the Journal of Book of Mormon Studies. It reads:
"To establish Lehi and his family in a new land where they would inspire and instruct later generations to come unto Christ, God needed more than a father and a son (as successor) to possess a testimony tried in the fire of affliction. God also needed a matriarch, weathered by her own trials of faith and armed with her own unwavering witness, to stand steadfast with her prophet-husband.
"When her sons failed to return, Sariah feared, giving evidence that her present faith, though admirably strong, was not yet strong enough to continue the difficult journey, let alone to establish a God-fearing family in a new land. The content of 1 Nephi 5 is therefore especially significant because it shows how crucial a mother's preparation is to the Lord. God desired not only that the family possess the brass plates for the journey, but also that both the mother and the father have unshakable faith before they continued...
"Sariah's reunion with her sons was additionally charged with the spiritual witness and stronger faith she received as a result of her trial. At that moment Sariah gained a deeper testimony than she had previously known. Notice the power and assurance in Sariah as she bore witness to her reunited family: "Now I know of a surety that the Lord hath commanded my husband to flee into the wilderness; yea, and I also know of a surety that the Lord hath protected my sons, and delivered them out of the hands of Laban, and given them power whereby they could accomplish the thing which the Lord hath commanded them" (1 Nephi 5:8)...
"Appreciating Sariah's epiphany also gives greater meaning to her subsequent act of sacrifice. "And it came to pass they they did rejoice exceedingly, and did offer sacrifice and burnt offering unto the Lord; and they gave thanks unto the God of Israel" (1 Nephi 5:9). Notice that Nephi reported "they" offered the sacrifice. Since Nephi was writing in first person, he tells us that he was not included as the primary participant in the ordinance. The context suggests that Lehi and Sariah together performed this sacred act of worship. Once can feel the renewed personal commitment that Sariah reverently placed on the altar alongside the animal sacrifice. And--most important--there is no indication that Sariah ever murmured again."
Then, Elder Boyd K. Packer added another witness of the important role that women, such as Sariah, play:
"The tender hand of the sister gives a gentle touch of healing and encouragement which the hand of a man, however well intentioned, can never quite duplicate...However much priesthood power and authority the men may possess—however much wisdom and experience they may accumulate—the safety of the family, the integrity of the doctrine, the ordinances, the covenants, indeed the future of the Church, rests equally upon the women...No man receives the fulness of the priesthood without a woman at his side. For no man, the Prophet said, can obtain the fulness of the priesthood outside the temple of the Lord. And she is there beside him in that sacred place. She shares in all that he receives. The man and the woman individually receive the ordinances encompassed in the endowment. But the man cannot ascend to the highest ordinances—the sealing ordinances—without her at his side. No man achieves the supernal exalting status of worthy fatherhood except as a gift from his wife."
This really started to put in perspective for me just how important my job as a wife and a mother is. I always knew that I needed to be the best that I possibly could so that I will one day be able to fulfill my role as a mother and wife. I always tried to live by this guideline of sorts---when faced with a decision, trial, or temptation, I would ask myself what I would want my future spouse to do. How would I hope that he would decide, act, or respond? What do I want? Expect? Well, if I expect that of him, then it is only fair that it is expected of me to do the same. Why would my future spouse expect anything less?
Now, I really felt the pressure of my future duty!
Crazy how much is put on my shoulders in the rearing of children and the furthering of the gospel on this earth. Pressure, much?
Now, fast forward to this past week. I was also in my Book of Mormon class. Once again, we talked about mothers, and once again, I had another light bulb moment.
This time, the subject was the stripling warriors. More specifically, Alma 56:47-48:
47 Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.
48 And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.
We discussed the deeper meaning of the second verse. The mothers all had a special gift to know when their sons were in need of an extra blessing. Through this, they were able to pray for their sons and protect them.
Then, our teacher told us a story that related it to our day and age to help that make sense. I can't remember exactly what the story was, but this is the gist of it. There was a man in combat, and they were under fire from the enemy. The enemy had backed this man and the others he was serving with into a hole. All the other holes had been blown out, so the enemy knew exactly where to hit next to hit the men serving our country. All the men in the hole were obviously expecting to be blown up by the enemy, since that is what happens. However, the firing stopped, the enemy left, and all the men in hiding there were alright. No one knew why they were preserved, but they were. It was a mystery to them.
Years later, the man was with his parents when his father had brought up that a few years earlier, one night, he and his wife were getting into bed when the wife sat up abruptly and said that she felt like she needed to pray for her son's safety. She prayed for him, got into bed, went to sleep, and didn't learn the outcome of the prayer until years later. The connection was made that the exact time this mother knelt down was also the same time the enemy was suppose to kill her son, but had left them alone.
The special power that mothers have in their children's lives and knowing when their children need an extra blessing blows my mind. It is so comforting, yet can come no other way but from the help of a Heavenly Father. {Yet, another witness that we have a Heavenly Father who loves each and every one of us, AND knows us individually}
I had never thought of the verse, or the story of the stripling warriors, in that context.
I think the timing of this Book of Mormon lesson in my life was no accident. I don't find it ironic at all that I got this lesson about mother's and their instincts at the same time that I was having two of the hardest, longest, most emotional weeks of my life. I had things going on that I didn't tell anyone about because I felt it was something that I needed to deal with on my own. A lesson I needed to learn, answers I needed to find. No one else could do that for me.
It was something I needed to do.
When the beginning of these difficult two weeks began, my mom did not know what was going on. I wasn't going to tell her. But there in class, it started to make sense to me.
It was nothing short of a miracle that when those two weeks initially began and my struggle started, my mom texted me at the exact moment I needed the extra blessings. She asked me what was wrong. I did not tell her anything was wrong, nor had I hinted that something was wrong. In fact, I hadn't even talked to my mom since earlier that day. It was a random text asking me what was wrong. Once again thinking I needed to do this on my own, I reassured her that I was alright. Everything was okay.
Same thing the next day, and the next, until I finally told her that I wasn't okay.
For some reason, I didn't even have to tell her what was going on for her to know. She had already known. Not only had she already known, but she had already been praying for me and as a result, I was showered with the extra blessings that I needed to get through the next few weeks of my life.
This pattern of my mom's extra blessings is not unique to this one situation in my life. In fact, I know this has happened more often that I even realize. This has happened so many times in my life! I mean, she didn't even know that I was going skiing the other day, yet on Facebook, this is the post on my wall, "So, Alice, Saturday, I spent a lot of time on my knees praying for you when I heard you had planned to go ice skating with Karen & Kathy.... but at the end of the day when I heard you went skiing...oh wow... I felt grateful that my pleading for your safety was answered on both of your adventures. Glad you had fun - you always do - but more grateful you are alright! The pictures on your blog look painful! ~Mom"
Even last year, I was in the middle of making one of the biggest decisions of my life. I didn't know how to tell anyone what was going on, nor did I feel like anyone else could help me with the decision. It was something I needed to do. It was my mom who sat me down and said, "Alice, I feel like you are trying to make a big decision in your life" then she reassured me that she and my dad loved me and would support the decision I would make.
I do not think that my mom even knows how vital the timing of that conversation was. It literally saved me from making the wrong decision that would have taken me down the wrong path. In fact, if she would not have said that, I probably would not be here at BYU right now---which means everything that I have learned and gained from this experience would never have happened. No Karen, Kathy, Aspen Grove. No nothing. I can't imagine my life without it.
As I sat in class and pondered this, I realized how much I had taken for granted. It had never occurred to me just how amazing my mom is. I truly don't appreciate my mom as much as I should. I am so incredibly lucky to have a mother that is worthy to be in tune with the spirit enough to know when I need the extra blessings in my life, or even to know that something is wrong with me.
Everything she does for me is because she loves me. I know that now. I think I always thought that, but now I know it, and I am so incredibly thankful for it. I don't think I will ever be able to comprehend in this life everything that my mom does for me, both in plain sight and behind the scenes, yet I will continue to be blessed by it.
I pray that one day, I will be to my children what my mom is to me.
I love you, Mom.
I know I don't say it enough, but know that I always will love you.
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