This post is far overdue, but I finally feel like I can write it all out without crying.
Haha!
Nowwwwww, rewind all the way back to January. {Yikes, that's a long time!}
I had an interview for a job at BYU Sports Camps to be a counselor for the summer. I cannot even begin to express how badly I wanted that job going into the interview. I had decided last summer that this was the job I wanted for this upcoming summer. I was interviewed by Rachel and Derek. I remember sitting in the interview thinking they were the coolest two people I had ever met, and I would give anything to work with them. In that moment, I decided that I wanted to work with them. They were so nice and funny, and I loved being in the same room as the two of them! {Remember this because it is going to become vital to the story later on!}
As I left the interview, they took my photo and said I would be finding out in March if I had received the job or not.
However, a few weeks later, it was the beginning of February, and I was really struggling. For the first time in years, I was struggling to be happy. I simply was not happy anymore. To be honest, I became severely depressed. I stopped talking to people, and people stopped talking to me. I didn't know anyone, and I was just going through the motions every day. There were literally days that I would talk to three people, and that included texting my Mom.
It was so bad, and nothing I did was helping.
I had priesthood blessing after priesthood blessing, and still, I struggled so much. I felt so alone. I just ached for someone to talk to me---to ask me how I was doing or even to ask me to go do something.
I had gone to spend the weekend with my Aunt in Bluffdale, Utah, when she asked if I would like to attend Music and the Spoken Word. I had never gone before, so I was really excited to go {especially because one of my best friend's is Lloyd Newell's son!}
As we were driving there, I was telling my aunt about this cute girl that my family knows who was serving a mission on Temple Square right then. Her name is Sarah.
We arrived, watched the performance {or whatever you call it}, and when it ended, Lloyd Newell then says, "We would like to say a special thank you to a group of women we have here with us today." He goes on to inform us these women are actually a group of Sister Missionaries that were going home that Wednesday. He listed off all the places the girls were from, and on the list was the home state of our friend, Sarah! Sure enough, she stood up! Sarah was there, and she was going home that week!
Sarah has no idea how awesome that was for me to get to see her.
For those of you who know me or read my blog, you know that I have the strongest desire to serve a mission. I would love to drop everything right now and leave on a mission. In fact, I even was planning on leaving on my mission a year ago, but I didn't {You can read about that
here!}
When Sarah stood up, and I got to see how happy she was, along with the other sister missionaries, I was reminded of how badly I want to serve a mission. I got to talk with her briefly before we left, but it got me thinking all over again about a mission.
I started analyzing my life and where I was at. I looked at everything I had learned in the past nine or so months that I wouldn't have learned if I had been on a mission. I learned SO MUCH and grew IMMENSELY. Looking back made me realize the reasoning behind me not going on a mission. It made complete sense to me. I truly was not meant to go at the time I thought I was.
I started feeling comfortable again about submitting my papers. I decided I would ponder and pray about it once again.
Logically, it made complete sense to go on a mission at that time. I was the most single I had been in years (and by this, I mean I wasn't dating anyone or even going on dates. I literally had no prospects in my life.) The semester was ending soon, and Karen and Kathy were leaving on missions, too. There was nothing holding me to Provo, and I was craving for something in my life to change. It seemed like it was the perfect timing! I felt like I had learned what I needed to learn, and it was finally my time to go.
I prayed about it and got the confirmation that I could start my papers.
The debate wasn't whether I was going or not, it was when I was putting my availability date. I kept going back and forth about when to put my availability date. I kept thinking about the job that I so desperately wanted for the summer. Do I stay and work the summer and miss another semester of college, or do I not take the job and leave in May to make it back right before a semester of college started?
It was such a struggle. I would change my mind about 20 times a day.
Then, in the middle of February, I had a prompting to get online and look at the jobs listed for BYU. There was a job posted online just a few minutes earlier for a Sports Camps Planner. I read the description, and it was perfect. I would work with the coaches of various sports to plan the camps, and then make sure everything goes through for the camps. It was a year round job, too! I wanted that job soooo bad!
Buuuuuuut, I was going on a mission. It wouldn't be fair to apply for this job knowing I would be leaving on a mission shortly thereafter. They wouldn't give me the job. Buuuuuuuuuuuut, if I didn't try, I would never get a job with Sports Camps. I called my Mom, and she told me to apply for the job just for the heck of it. If I got it, great, if I didn't, then my plans wouldn't change. So, I applied for the job.
I literally ran every scenario through my head all day long as to what I was going to do. Should I even interview for the job? Should I just be a counselor? Should I leave on my mission right away?
It reached the point that it was eating me away inside. I didn't know what to do, and I was losing sleep over it. Any time I would think about it, my mind would hit overload, and I would freak out inside. I just wanted to know which one was the right path for me. I was getting really impatient.
I went to the temple and finally received some peace. It was all going to work out the way it is meant to.
I was going to go home and get all my mission paper work done in a few weeks, then submit them, unless something between now and then stopped me. I had a little emergency back home, and I ended up leaving for Idaho sooner than I had planned, so I was just going to get everything finished right away.
Just as I was packing to go home to Idaho, I got a call from Brendon regarding the Planner job. He wondered if I could come in for a group interview the following week. I wanted to so bad, but I would be in Idaho! I had been waiting so long for this phone call, and it came just when I couldn't have it. I explained what was going on, and he agreed that I could come in for an interview when I got home from Idaho. I just needed to let him know what the plan was.
I figured once again, it would all work out the way it was suppose to.
So, I headed to Idaho. While I was there, I got my medical and dental clearance and finished up my papers.
I kept my mission a big secret in case I didn't go, too. No one knew about this except my parents and some of my siblings.
A few days later, I headed back to Provo with my papers ready to submit as soon as I decided on my availability date.
I also emailed and called Brendon back, but never heard back from him. I gave it about two weeks to hear from him, and still nothing.
I was sure they had filled the position at this point. I started to give up hope on the job, and I really focused on my mission. I was getting really excited to go, too! It was starting to sink in.
Then, I got the call I had been waiting for.
Brendon called me in for an interview.
YES.
I had the interview, and we talked for a little while. They informed me that they had a few positions they were considering me for, but they would be letting me know in the next few days.
Once again, I didn't hear anything from them. I gave up on the job and decided it was time to put my papers in. I went to the temple to confirm this was what I was suppose to do, and I was told to just be patient. I would be getting my answer soon enough.
I finished up at the temple, and the moment I walked out the doors, my phone rang.
It was Brendon offering me a job.
I GOT THE JOB. My dream BYU job.
I wasn't a planner, though. I was actually the Office Manager! {After working the job, I see that my position now is actually the perfect one for me.}
I started the following week, and I have been working there ever since, and guess what?? I WORK WITH RACHEL AND DEREK, and other kids that are just as awesome as they are. I get to see them all every day, and I don't get sick of it! I actually love them more and more as time goes on.
As far as my mission is concerned, my papers are finished. They are just waiting to be submitted. I really want to go still, but I have once again been told that right now is not the best time for me. I need to be in Provo.
Not only that, but I needed this job. I cannot begin to express my gratitude for this job. My coworkers are the most amazing people, and I love each of them so much.
I don't think my coworkers will ever know how much they have done for me or that they literally saved me.
They will never know how much of a blessing and answer to my prayers it was to walk in here on the first day and have everyone be so welcoming to me.
I know I am where I am suppose to be, and I love every minute of it. Literally, every minute of it.
I am so so happy with my life right now.
